Journal

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Pleasure in the Pathless Woods

I worked on these paintings during the Spring and Summer of 2018, during the first several months of a sudden illness. At the time, painting felt like a relief, like I was carving out a small area of beauty and pleasure in the midst of so much change and unknown. Now, looking back on this series, the pieces embody the comfort and relief I felt making them. I started each one with quick and chaotic brushstrokes, and then slowly, very intentionally, found shapes and forms that created something more ordered and pleasing. This series was all about pursuing joy and beauty amidst suffering. I’ve revisited and completed additional paintings in this series to create comfort and relief for myself when needed.

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Pour

This series felt like me leaning into challenging experiences. At first, I thought I was leaning into some of the specific versions of challenge and chaos in my own life, namely motherhood, urban life, illness. In a bigger way though, this series is about getting comfortable with the unknown, even finding gratitude for it. These paintings poured right out of me and onto the paper - no thinking or striving.

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Everybody is Watching

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Nobody is Watching

This series was inspired by my two-year-old son's drawings. For about 6 months, he would draw a shape similar to the loops seen in these pieces. Every time we gave him paper and drawing materials, these swirls would appear. I became so smitten with the shapes and the ease and playfulness of making them. There was something ethereal about his drawings. Making marks like his marks helped me embody his playfulness and ease too.

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Order

These pieces examine the idea of labeling and ordering and creating safety and security; imposing structure onto an organic piece. They relate to walking the fine line between effort and ease, pattern and spontaneity, mindfulness and mindlessness.

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Artist and Illness

Each mark represents agency and action, and also stillness and uncertainty. Art making as a way to take steps forward and also to stand still. Painting as a way to express and experience, and also to be nonverbal. Painting as a way to mark that I was here, and that I found joy and beauty in this time.